Of commanding, leadership and responsibilities

Commanding is not exhaustive, it necessitates leadership, compassion and responsibilities. I had commanded a regiment for more than 6 years without a break and had commanded different gun batteries for more than 12 years with breaks in-between my career. I had experienced lots of  ‘command problems’, if at all they are problems. Everything that goes on in the regiment and batteries are the responsibilities of commanders, no matter how trivial. Command is not about giving out commands, not about systems and procedures, commanding deals with men and their families with human requirements, desires, emotions and weaknesses. No two problems are the same because it invariably involves different mindsets and maturity of the people involved.

With the above preamble I would like to share some heartache command issues that are worth discussing and tickle your conscience and maybe to reflect back onto your own experiences. Would I have done any different with hindsight? Would you do different with hindsight?

It is not good to mention names and to tarnish anybody. It is not the intention of this writing and I pray whoever feels pain and feels offended please forgive me in bringing this episode up. I write to share my thoughts and to give an insight to future commanding officers.

I was a Bty Comd in the 1970s and it was a period of frequent ops deployment. Officers had very rare moments in camp given that we also had to go on courses, play games and to do other military exercises either as participants, observers or controllers/umpirers.

That year we had several new officers fresh from RMC and fortunately I had the best young officer from the lot for my BTY. He was good and certainly had potential to be a high achiever. He displayed initiative, playfulness and socializes fairly well. He had a bright future.

A year later the regiment had a new CO. Everything was normal and we adjusted well; meeting all the new CO’s expectations and requirements, albeit he was more religious, stricter and more rigid. Fine that the CO was always right. Or was he?

My young officer got involved with the town belle, an Awek true and true. She was well known and professed to be everybody’s property, including some OR gunners. She was definitely a mess property. She was hot and a party girl.

Anyway I do not know of any young officer, married or otherwise who did not have an episode or two with Aweks.

One day Awek and her father came to the regiment and saw the CO to complain that she was a couple of months pregnant with my officer’s child. The CO called me to the office, as if I was answerable. I saw Awek for the first time wearing a tudung and properly attired to the nines. Innocent, demure and saintly. The CO had said that my officer was responsible and had to marry the girl.

After Awek and her father left the office, the CO and I had some heated discussions. The officer had no choice and that CO had given the assurance of the intended marriage to the girl’s father. I argued against the CO’s decision. We cannot force an officer to marry. I had no say in any religious matters and I am to inform my officer to make his decision to marry soonest.

I talked to the officer and he had admitted to have had sex with Awek, as did everybody else. He was not prepared to marry the girl, although he was prepared to bear expenses for abortion if Awek agreed. My officer was barely 20 years old and was not prepared to settle down. He had showed me her daily love letters to him as proof that she was also involved with many other men in town. I read all the love letters. These letters bared every detail of her sex life and would make good articles in girly magazines. 

I was interested in some letters sent to the officer whilst we were on ops stating that she was pregnant and had seen a doctor in the next town. I took note of the dates of the visit to the doctor and her mentioning of the dates of missing her monthly periods. I concluded that she had conceived a child at a time when my officer was with me on ops. There was no way my officer was responsible. I confirmed this finding with our camp’s doctor.  I drew up a timeline and chorological events of our ops.  DNA tests were not readily available in the 1970s.

I requested the CO to call up Awek and her father again to explain our situation. The meeting was arranged. The CO and I requested the doctor’s presence to do the ‘proofing’. Awek’s party included her father, an ustaz from her kampung mosque and an officer from the district office. Awek played innocence to the T, non-stop sobbing and all. I read out every love letter from Awek to my officer to the awe and shock of all present, particularly Awek's father.

In the end it was still a religious decision that my officer had to marry. I was dumbfounded and just had no more say.

Sadly the officer complied and married Awek in a quiet nikah ceremony against his wish. He has no choice as the CO had decided.

I requested for an immediate posting and it was readily agreed by the CO. I left the regiment for another regiment. I was to learn later that a daughter was born. And the officer had also divorced the wife. The officer had also resigned his commission and had left the service.

What a waste to a good Gunner officer. I wish him well.