Of leadership and barking

You do not buy a dog and bark yourself. Yes, My family used to have a lot of dogs with us. We loved dogs and at one stage we even reared up to 8 dogs in our house. Lots of barking but not once did I bark.

Barking seems like an inherited and cultured trait in our army like in most armies all over the world. A Chief of Staff barked at me. And I responded with a simple “You talking to me sir?”  That did not cooled him off but certainly he was taken aback. You bet I am furious and upset as well, but I know too well not to retaliate with myself barking to my subordinates in a chain reaction. That is not what a leader should do. 

I had learnt this lesson from my favourite general. General Yusof Din does not bark. His upset-ness and sternness is most effectively felt, even if he had just whispered “Bisa”. We would feel his wrath with just a simple word “bisa” and would work double hard to rectify the problem.

A parade commander is not necessary a good leader. He barks out orders as required to perform the drill movement. He is not leading the parade as in leadership. He is synchronizing actions. His command is a necessary bark, and loud enough to be heard, only for precise timing and movement, but not a leadership style or trait to empower subordinates to take actions.

I am not a good leader, just mediocre at best. But I think I am good enough to lead my subordinates without having to bark like a dog.

My wife Peggy does all the barking in my house and she is the Minister of home affairs.

Have a nice non-barking day.

Allen Lai

Another Aha moment and they lived happily ever after

An ‘Aha moment’ is a moment when we suddenly get a bright idea all of a sudden. It is usually a positive thought to solve a problem.  Singing “Aha Aha I like it’ does not generate Aha moments. It just comes; more naturally to cunning people. And I am adequately blessed to be cunning since birth.

She was a sales promoter in Melaka’s new department store in the 1980s. She was 23 years old, matured and comes from Melaka. I was then commanding 1 ARTY. He was my pronto bombardier with my rover group. Twenty five years old, 7 years service, reliable and a good soldier.

They had been courting for more than a year when she agreed to marry him. But there was a social problem. She was Chinese and was brought up in a very traditional Chinese family. Although she had agreed to convert to Islam as required by intermarriages with muslims in Malaysia, her parents were adamant against it. Same sorry story.

Her parents had come to see me to stop my bombardier in this relationship. I had counseled the parents that there was very little anybody can do about it as both were adults and marriageable. More importantly they were in love and were prepared for any sacrifices or eventualities. They could just elope to get married, if they wanted.

The parents came several times to appeal and requested for my help to intervene. My bombardier was not prepared to abandon his love. And I really think it was a workable marriage, difficult as it would be. After several serious discussions, I managed to convince the parents to give their blessings to their daughter. Compromise they did, but not without very specific wedding protocols and a hantaran suitable to their culture and requirement. All requirements could be met without any problem except that the hantaran MUST include gifts that were considered haram. It was true that those items were mandatory requirements in pure Chinese traditional weddings and each item had its own significance. But a muslim just cannot purchase things that were haram, which included pork and liquor. A stalemate ensued. The family was sure that was the answer to their predicament. Fortunately their Aha moment was seriously flawed. My Aha moment was more potent.

Aha I thought, what if my bombardier would agree to his hantaran being in cash and I would arrange for a rombongan comprising non muslim soldiers to deliver the required items? My bombardier need not deliver the hantaran personally as I would conveniently deploy him on ops temporary. The Chinese family need not know of the arrangements. I budgeted the hantaran would be about RM2000.00 to which it was readily agreed to by my bombardier. He gave me the money and gladly went on ops. I prepared the hantaran to be sent on his behalf.

It was an adequately  face saving situation for everybody, and the Chinese family could not reject the hantaran at all, as the specified hantaran had met their requirements. The marriage took place after the girl was converted to Islam.

And they lived happily ever after.

Allen Lai

A damsel in despair and a close call

I had my fair share of ‘command problems’ as did everybody else. But a rape case? You can bet barrels of cold ones that the case will be left to the PDRM to investigate and take action. Most would wash their hand off this sort of cases involving police reports. Rape is a criminal act and there is usually no bail until the case is heard in court.

I am thankful to my parents who like every Chinese parents would bless their children after birth. I was adequately blessed with all the traditional Chinese blessings for the children of being clever, filial, hardworking and above all cunning. Actually blessings for wealth and material gains are not true. Wealth and material gains are given dividends by living a good life. Cunningness is deemed in the positive light as with initiative, creative, thinking out of the box in modern paradigm.

I had just finished my tour of duty in the FMC as an officer instructor in the cadet wing for the two years 1968 – 1970. I was posted as BK to a BTY serving sometime in the middle of its roulement tour to Sabah. I had to report to the BTY immediately as the BC was as usual ‘in the clouds’, always attached here and there but not with the BTY. I was literally the acting BC most of the time we were in Sabah.

I was always fortunate to have had outstanding and talented or at least above average officers in my BTY, I did not have any below mediocre or less caliber officers. It was my duty and responsibility to groom my officers to achieve better. I had always enjoyed the trust of my subordinate officers and men to this very day. I am very grateful to all of them.

In those days every BTY had their own live band providing entertainment for ourselves, and also to generate some income for the BTY funds. The band comprise basically some guitars and a drum set. There are plenty of singers in the BTY and sometimes local singers attach themselves to the band.

We had a particular dashing young officer who played lead guitar, sang well and was made officer in-charged of the band. We played in the local kampung scene at weddings and tombola sessions. A lovely talented young girl joined the band and naturally became its lead singer and that attracted many stints especially during the weekend. She was our star and crowd puller.

The band officer and their lead singer soon became a natural couple. Love was in the air they said and I honestly thought they would make a lovely couple. Sabah lasses would die to get hitched to anybody from Semanajung, and an officer would be an additional bonus. We were not privy to the promises made by the officer, but was confident that something good would come out of it. They were seen to be close and compatible.

Soon we were preparing to return back to our camp in Semananjung at the end of our tour. The band officer was scheduled to return ahead, and his flight was booked. Unfortunately the flight was postponed, as was always the case, to another date; true to our air force being called ‘Sunshine Airways’. Our TUDM’s Folker aircraft came on scheduled flights twice a week. A no show means several days delay. The officer had a bit more time with the BTY, but being mid week there were no stints.

On the very morning our officer was rescheduled to return to Semananjung, I had a telephone call from our local police officer. The girl had just lodged a report in his station that she was raped by our officer the previous night, and that he would come over to take him in. I immediately rushed the officer to the airport.

It is always good to have drinking kakis with the locals, and the police officer was a regular. He was as shocked as us over the report. I had known of many ruses used by jilted and abandoned girls from our Sabah/ Sarawak tours. But rape is a serious offence. I requested our police friend to come to our camp to sort it out. He came still in disbelieve. I asked him if he actually believed in the rape report? Don’t we know that they were a couple for quite some time now? Was there a need to rape? He agreed but he will need strong evidence and alibi’s to disprove the alleged report.

As if I was struck with an ‘aha moment’ in a flash of the moment. A miracle thought went through my mind. I said immediately that the rape could not have taken place because the named officer had already left Sabah on the previous scheduled flight back to Semananjung. I could prove it with official evidence. I would be able to produce the pax list from the TUDM. His name was on it. The police officer was not to know about the cancelled flight. That saved the day. Our officer flew home grateful to be off the hook.

I produced the pax list to the satisfaction of the police. The case was resolved and the rape report dropped. The girl eventually was remorse and confessed that she was desperate. She knew exactly what had happened and felt guilty and apologized to us. We accepted her sincere apology and will recommend that she sing with the incoming BTY band.

It was a close call, just like in thriller movie films when the police were always a step behind the fugitive. We had many happy hours with our police officer friend and our band continued to play “Please release me, let me go” as our theme song.

Allen Lai

Of commanding, leadership and responsibilities

Commanding is not exhaustive, it necessitates leadership, compassion and responsibilities. I had commanded a regiment for more than 6 years without a break and had commanded different gun batteries for more than 12 years with breaks in-between my career. I had experienced lots of  ‘command problems’, if at all they are problems. Everything that goes on in the regiment and batteries are the responsibilities of commanders, no matter how trivial. Command is not about giving out commands, not about systems and procedures, commanding deals with men and their families with human requirements, desires, emotions and weaknesses. No two problems are the same because it invariably involves different mindsets and maturity of the people involved.

With the above preamble I would like to share some heartache command issues that are worth discussing and tickle your conscience and maybe to reflect back onto your own experiences. Would I have done any different with hindsight? Would you do different with hindsight?

It is not good to mention names and to tarnish anybody. It is not the intention of this writing and I pray whoever feels pain and feels offended please forgive me in bringing this episode up. I write to share my thoughts and to give an insight to future commanding officers.

I was a Bty Comd in the 1970s and it was a period of frequent ops deployment. Officers had very rare moments in camp given that we also had to go on courses, play games and to do other military exercises either as participants, observers or controllers/umpirers.

That year we had several new officers fresh from RMC and fortunately I had the best young officer from the lot for my BTY. He was good and certainly had potential to be a high achiever. He displayed initiative, playfulness and socializes fairly well. He had a bright future.

A year later the regiment had a new CO. Everything was normal and we adjusted well; meeting all the new CO’s expectations and requirements, albeit he was more religious, stricter and more rigid. Fine that the CO was always right. Or was he?

My young officer got involved with the town belle, an Awek true and true. She was well known and professed to be everybody’s property, including some OR gunners. She was definitely a mess property. She was hot and a party girl.

Anyway I do not know of any young officer, married or otherwise who did not have an episode or two with Aweks.

One day Awek and her father came to the regiment and saw the CO to complain that she was a couple of months pregnant with my officer’s child. The CO called me to the office, as if I was answerable. I saw Awek for the first time wearing a tudung and properly attired to the nines. Innocent, demure and saintly. The CO had said that my officer was responsible and had to marry the girl.

After Awek and her father left the office, the CO and I had some heated discussions. The officer had no choice and that CO had given the assurance of the intended marriage to the girl’s father. I argued against the CO’s decision. We cannot force an officer to marry. I had no say in any religious matters and I am to inform my officer to make his decision to marry soonest.

I talked to the officer and he had admitted to have had sex with Awek, as did everybody else. He was not prepared to marry the girl, although he was prepared to bear expenses for abortion if Awek agreed. My officer was barely 20 years old and was not prepared to settle down. He had showed me her daily love letters to him as proof that she was also involved with many other men in town. I read all the love letters. These letters bared every detail of her sex life and would make good articles in girly magazines. 

I was interested in some letters sent to the officer whilst we were on ops stating that she was pregnant and had seen a doctor in the next town. I took note of the dates of the visit to the doctor and her mentioning of the dates of missing her monthly periods. I concluded that she had conceived a child at a time when my officer was with me on ops. There was no way my officer was responsible. I confirmed this finding with our camp’s doctor.  I drew up a timeline and chorological events of our ops.  DNA tests were not readily available in the 1970s.

I requested the CO to call up Awek and her father again to explain our situation. The meeting was arranged. The CO and I requested the doctor’s presence to do the ‘proofing’. Awek’s party included her father, an ustaz from her kampung mosque and an officer from the district office. Awek played innocence to the T, non-stop sobbing and all. I read out every love letter from Awek to my officer to the awe and shock of all present, particularly Awek's father.

In the end it was still a religious decision that my officer had to marry. I was dumbfounded and just had no more say.

Sadly the officer complied and married Awek in a quiet nikah ceremony against his wish. He has no choice as the CO had decided.

I requested for an immediate posting and it was readily agreed by the CO. I left the regiment for another regiment. I was to learn later that a daughter was born. And the officer had also divorced the wife. The officer had also resigned his commission and had left the service.

What a waste to a good Gunner officer. I wish him well.

More Gems

I took the opportunity to crop off two photos of Gunner Officers from PVAP website that are not available in our blog.

Thank you PVAP.

The late Mej Gen Johan Hew Deng Onn (Bersara)

Major Mukhtar bin Abdul Aziz (Berasra)

Allen Lai

Persatuan Veteran Artileri Wilayah Utara (PVAP)

Hi all,

I was given the lead to VPAP by Zamri Yasid. It is indeed an outstanding organisation looking after the affairs of all Gunners up North. PVAP is located in Taiping with 3 ARTY as host Regiment. The present President of PVAP is Major Mukhtar bin Abdul Aziz ( Bersara).

I am pleased that a lot of PVAP members are OR Gunners and the organisation is active.

Congratulations and Well done PVAP.  Proud of you all.

 Once a Gunner always a Gunner.

Here is the Link to PVAP

http://pvap.wordpress.com

Allen Lai