It is now more than 3 weeks after my final assault on the enemy position. The fight had been decisive. We went in under full artillery cover, captured and held the objective. The enemy was very well entrenched. Thankfully even enemy trenches with strong OHP could not withstand our Photons bombardments. The enemy suffered maximum casualties and also most of our forward assault troops. All fire missions were danger close missions. Acceptable safety distances and precisions were ensured. Battle wounds and scars were everywhere. And battle fatigue is taking its toll. I don’t think I can withstand another intense assault like this. This was as much as I could take. No more. No more, I cried in my mind. But I must press home. I must maintain the momentum. Enemy defenses were beginning to break up. We broke in and fought deep into the objective. Deep penetrations into the enemy lines were achieved, thanks to the fire support. I took a look around the battlefield at others who were fighting their own battles. Many had suffered more than me. Most had suffered unbearable pain and nausea. Many cried and begged to be relieved. One combatant could not finish her fight and was pulled out of the battlefield. She must live to fight another day, another time. I could only encourage them to hold on, often reminding them that we have a bit more to go. Only a bit more to go. Come on Go! Go! Go! I could not let them down. I must bite the bullet. I must finish my assault. I would relate to our ARTEP physical tests. It is home run. I can do it. They saw my courage and thankfully held their ground.
The smoke cleared and the dust had settled. Reorg had been in full swing. I brought up more ammo and supplies. Did a full staff check and called up more reserved troops to take up occupied positions. I was told it would take a full two weeks to recuperate from radiation fallouts. Radiation in the objective does not dissipate immediate. It remains there killing everything in its range for the next two weeks. And my troops are still fighting from trench to trench. It now calls for close quarters combat. Hand to hand combat. Bayonets! Fire support cover had ceased. I must improve my immunization system as I can easily catch infections and inflammations. No soap, lotions or creams are allowed. No matter what ailment prevails. My body radiates heat even in air-conditioned environments. My skin is parched and brittle. I have prickly heat spots all over my body and I scratched like hell only to draw blood at each scratch line. And no toilets please. My rectum feels full all time and I suffered each time I did my business. I am drained of all my energy and I feel lethargic all the time.
I took two weeks off, doing nothing. Just eat, drink and slept it off. I went to Port Dickson for a nice and quiet weekend. I participated in the Relay For Life event held at Bukit Jalil NSC stadium. I also spent time to help out several of my fellow combatants who needed help most. I took my mind off the battle by reading heavily into photography. A new hobby for me.
I will know the outcome of my battle in a month’s time. I am fine now. I just know it. My body tells me so. I have been given a second chance at life.
Allen Lai
Lesson learnt No 13.
If maintaining health is expensive, try illness.
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